God provided a ram!

Well, friends.  It has been awhile and for good reason.  In faith I moved to Antioch at the beginning of the month that that is where God wanted me to be and 10 days later I received a job offer at McGavock High School, which I accepted.  I am a teacher!  Thank you Janet for your spiritual insight into my situation.  I had finally come to terms that I was not going to teach this year.  In the statue of full surrender, my Isaac (teaching) was laid upon the altar ready to be sacrificed, but God provided a ram.  This past week was my first week and things are going well.  I am tired but taking it one day at a time.  The assistant principal I report to is awesome and thinks I am doing an awesome job.  The majority of my students are repeaters, which presents some challenges.  I have two very good classes (period 3 and 4), two challenege classes (period 2 and 5), and one nightmare class (period 6).  I've already developed the wrap of being a mean teacher, which I am assured is a good thing.

School is not what it used to be.  Skipping class is normal, walking out of class is commonplace, being rude and mouthy is acceptable, and respect is non-existent.  It is disheartening.  I am having to make threats and make good on them just to make examples out of students, which is not me at all.  I am collecting papers and marking zeroes on them if they talk.  I am having to count them absent and give them zeroes if they refuse to adhere to the seating charts.  They put absolutely no effort into anything you assign them, and they complain about anything and everything.  They complain that they are bored if we aren't doing anything and we are doing something, they complain about that too.  I don't want to fail them but they are leaving me any options.  What is sad is that some of them are seniors and will not graduate. 

Please keep me in your prayers, that God will give me wisdom on how to handle my students, but more importatnly pray for the students.  I can put up with the nonsense, but these kids are lost in every sense of the word.  I can only hope that my "tough love" towards them will break through and that they will see God's love at the heart of it in getting them to grow up.

Catch you later!

~Brooks 

4th down at the 5 yardline

Sorry football fans, I've never been much of a fan, but my pastor used football as an example to make a point, which describes my life perfectly right now and its the only way I can describe what's going on... so here goes...

All year long, there has been a lot of controversy surrounding the last week of July and the first week of August...  whether to do camp or the alternate activities that my church planned, moving since my lease ended, potential change in career since I have been trying to become a teacher, etc.  Big decisions, tough decisions.  With som much potential for chaos lining up around the same time in my life, I have been proclaiming that God was fixing to do something huge, something absolutely awesome!  I was never prepared for what happened though...

I went to camp, a week that I look forward to all year long, and I had the most challenging group of campers ever, they were attacked with sickness and injuries all week long, and God didn't show up in services like he has in years past... that's not to say He didn't do what He needed to do there, but my expectations were not for fulfilled.  Then I get back home from a discouraging week at camp on Friday, go to sleep at 8pm (this never happens but I was tired), and am awakened at 5:15 am by a phone call from my dad that my grandmother passed away...  it was her 79th birthday too and I was going to call and wish her a Happy Birthday...  so I unpacked from camp, and repacked for home and the funeral and hit the road.  It was so hard being with family under these circumstances because I knew everybody else was torn up so I knew I had to be strong and grieve later.  Being away and supporting family kept me from following up on teaching jobs or looking for a new place to live...  These two weeks that I had been proclaiming all year long that God was going to do something awesome couldn't have been worse.

So I come back to TN and have to teach the kids Sunday, which was the last thing I wanted to do since I was finally able to begin my own grieving process, but I got a CD of the service and it couldn't describe my life more appropriately.  Pastor Danny was talking about Navigational Keys to surviving the storms of life.  He said that if God has spoken something to you that has not been fuflfilled that you still have purpose... for me that thing is teaching...  and that we can do everything humanly possible to make that thing happen (I have) so much so that the only thing that is going to make it happen is crying out to Jesus (I have and even continued praising God throughout all of this mess and proclaiming that He still sits on the throne and is in control).  He then said that before a breakthrough we will face the exact opposite of what we have been belieiving for and preparing for.  Yep, this is my life!  He then compared it to fourth down at the 5 yard line and how the ground near the end zone is that more precious that anywhere else on the field because you are about to score!  For the same reason, the opponent is going to fight you that much harder and the oppenent definitely has.  I am at the 5 on 4th down and ready for a breakthrough!

So now, a high school actually wants to hire me!  La Vergne High School wants me to teach Physical Science (4 sections of Honors and one regular) and the county office has everything but one form from the university and the only person who can grant it is on vacation until Friday, so I am in a holding pattern.  I am using the time to prepare for what I believe will be my breakthrough.  There may be some complication surrounding this form, so please keep me in your prayers because this form is all that is standing between me and what God spoke to me.  Also be praying for a smooth move as I decided to move in with some friends.

Take faith my friends if you too are facing your giants at the 5.

~Brooks 

Love and salvation...

Posts where you don't know where to begin are always some of the best...  I guess I'll just start out by saying that I've spent the past hour driving around Murfreesboro, crying and worshipping God after watching a movie that really moved me.  Love has been a constant message throughout this year and the most recent reminder was tonight in this movie where good is battling evil.  Good says to evil that you'll never know love or friendship and I feel sorry for you.  Then evil flees.  This one statement rumbled deep and loud within my spirit.  It reminded me of the love that is extended to us through our relationship with Christ and how those who don't know Him will never know that same love...  It makes me feel sorry for them, but moreso reminds and motivates me of my responsibility to share God's love with them through living it and giving them the opportunity to know it too.  Salvation is extended to us because of love.  Everything God does is motivated by His love for us.  In the movie the God character held back from man character, which frustrated the man because he didn't feel the love that he once felt from the God character.  At the end, man gets to ask why the God character drew back and it's because he loved man so much that he stepped away in order to protect the man and make the man grow.  We get so caught up in our own lives sometimes that we forget about the love and our commission to share it.  We complain that we don't feel God near, but He is still protecting us and He is making us grow.  His love is addictive...  we experience it and want more, but we get too comfortable and just expect it to be there instead of chasing it or pursuing it passionately.  So tonight in driving around I did just that...  there's just something about driving around with the windows down, praying and worshipping out loud that just feels like I chased Him.  There was such a sweet presence in my filthy car (it needs washed and vacuumed something awful).  I spoke in my prayer language for about thirty minutes with tears streaming down my face... crying out to God to break our hearts again for the lost, to raise up a generation of young people who will fight for Him- a generation that He will pour His spirit upon, greater than any of us have ever known....  how we are not worthy of His love....Then I just kept singing Mighty God until I got home.  I felt such victory and a sense of completion, like God was saying it is finished...  all the stuff I have been going through is finished...  my finances will turn around, my pursuit of a teaching job is coming through, the energy and crativity that I need for VBS and camp has arrived...  I felt like God told me to put my credit card bills in my Bible and that I need to contact friends to remind them that I love them and value their friendship.  If you are reading this, you are my friend.  Chances are that we've laughed and cried together.  Even though we may not be in frequent contact, I want each of you to know that I love you and I value your friendship more than you'll ever know!

I went to Mexico on a mission trip with the kids PEAK team.  As the big guy on the trip, I was the watch dog and the setup and tear down guy.  I didn't get to do any ministry really, but I got to stand back and watch it all happen...  the healings, the deliverances, the salvations, the storm clouds opening up and the hole of sunshine following us....  the kids even cast out a demon which was really awesome!  It was awesome!  We had some amazing worship times and God broke my heart there too...  I was asking the kids why the Bible says the workers are few for the great harvest and we concluded that the workers are few because there are so many people who are willing to give up everything to do it....  how holding on to any part of ourselves is selfish and that what we hold onto can be an idol in our life.  We talked about consecration and how we want to be set aside and to follow Him with abandon...  I'll have to tell you all the details of the trip later, but the pastors who took us loved me and wants me to come with them on their other trips which is awesome because a part of me has wnated to be more involved with short term missions but time and money has always been an issue...  Once I am a teach I hope that I will be able to do more...

I know all of this may seem like rambling to you, but I just had to get everything that I felt God speaking to my heart written out as a reminder to me of this place that I am in.

Good night friends!

~Brooks 

Isn't it just like God to...

You fill in the blank!  He's your God too!

Seriously, isn't it just like God to be God- to be in control, to be faithful to His word, to be on time, to open doors that you weren't even knocking at...

If you've been reading my blog, you know that God spoke on Memorial Day weekend of 2006 that I was to become a teacher, you know that I've passed the neccessary Praxis exams, you know that it's been like a second job filling out all the applications and contacting the schools trying to secure employment as a teacher, and you know that I've not heard a thing back from anybody- not an email, not a phone call, nada.

I would be lying if I toild you I wasn't frustrated because I totally felt that I should have heard something back by now, especially with science being a high-need area.  Everything within me knows that God told me to do this, and I have done everything to qualify myself to do it- I've done the studying, I've passed the tests, I've filled out applications, I've solicited reference forms and letters, I've researched and read up on classroom management and lesson planning and put together a documents with how I want to run my classroom and how I plan to teach, I've emailed, I've called, I've been to the recruitment fairs, and I've even showed up in person at some of the schools!  I've done it all.

To clear my head of the stress associated to this endeavor and the other chaos going on in life, I went on vacation during Memorial Day a few weeks ago and had dreams about teaching every night, like God was tormenting me with it.  Here I am, a year later, ready to step into what he told me to do, and He has yet to deliver on what He spoke.  I purposed to not be stressed over it or to let my faith waiver, because I, of all people, know that God's timeline is not the same as ours, but I would continue to be diligent. 

I've primarily been focusing on Davidson and Rutherford County since they had the most positions open and geographically they are most desirable for me...  Nashville is in Davidson and Murfreesboro (where I live) is in Rutherford.  I also filled out the Williamson County application since Ravenwood had a position open.  I heard nothing back so I looked slightly beyond my desired radius and decided to apply in Maury County.

Last week, I got a phone call from Independence High in Williamson- a school that I had not even been in touch with aside from the county application!  A position opened up that day and they called wanting to talk to me about it!  It is the newest school in Williamson, which is a very wealthy county since Brentwood and Franklin are both there.  I could believe it!  I am just waiting to hear back from the principal on when she is going to begin interviews.  Go figure that a school that I had not pursued is contacting me...  Can we say God had a hand in this?  I think so!

Yesterday I dropped off my application packet in Maury county which is literally just down the road from Independence High, and they contacted me today!  I have interviews scheduled with the Board of Education and two of the schools that have positions open (Spring Hill and Columbia Central).  Thank you, Lord!

God is making it so obvious that I need to move to that area as all three schools are right next to each other, plus rent is much cheaper there!  Check out the map below...  all the pushpins are high schools,  the black circles are the first and second radii I drew from my church, the red box are the high schools that have contacted me, the red circle is where I currently live...  It's like God is pointing me there...  ever had anything like this happen to you before?  What are the chances?  It totally has to be God!  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Good night, friends!

Just Breathe...

Here I am again...  a place in life where I have to let go.  I've allowed life to suffocate me instead of invigorate me...  All the busyness has been asphyxiating...  I literally don't remember breathing for the past two months...  I had to break away... I needed to breathe and I did...  I went home to WV...

While I didn't do anything elaborate, this had to be the most relaxing vacation ever.  I didn't plan anything or even go into it having pre-conceived ideas about what I wanted it to be...  I enjoyed the open road, the fresh air, and the time away from it all...  I spent time with whoever was available and didn't beat myself up over not making all the rounds, and I didn't care what anybody thought about it...  I spent quality time with my grandparents...  My Mammaw had two minor storkes earlier this month...  I am 27 and very fortunate to have all 4 grandparents alive, but I think we all take our time with our grandparents for granted...  It's hard seeing them in their condition and hearing them talk about death...  I am almost in tears even typing it...  I fear that I may loose all of them in a short period of time and how they will cope without their spouses...  It almost makes me feel guilty for living far away from all my family and tempted to move closer to family.  I've definitely thought more about Georgia but still no definites and no stress...  I just enjoyed my time away...  I breathed and tasted lide again. 

Last Memorial Day I did a fasting retreat to find out what that next big step in life is and here a year later, I am prepared to do that very thing...  become a teacher.  I don't understand why I've been stressing over it sooooo much...  That doesn't meant that I am going to slack on getting the job, but I am not going to let it stress me out...  God spoke it, I made myself eligible for it and I've worked hard for it, God will honor it by giving me favor and ultimately the job.  I have faith.  Now, I just need to breathe...

If life has you around the neck, embrace it and just breathe.  Life will return...